Last fall I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a retreat for college-aged men and women from my church. I drove my clanking old Jeep up through the spiraled road to Winter Park, Colorado wherein some of the most beautiful pieces of scenery reside. The camp ground was the idyllic location for a weekend getaway. Aaron Stern, the pastor, and the rest of his staff felt compelled to make this weekend a special time designed for quietness. All of the sermons and teachings were written around one word: Solitude. The second day there began with an insightful teaching on what solitude looks like on a day to day basis and expressed the necessity of quietness before the Lord. At the end of the teaching, Aaron encouraged us to leave the chapel and to spend time alone in silence with God.
I left the chapel and walked directly down the grassy hill and into my lodge. I sat on the edge of my bed and asked God to speak to me. After a few moments, I laid back into my bed. I didn't open my Bible. I didn't speak. I didn't move. I simply waited on God in solitude. I tried to make myself available to Him. It was my expectation to hear a strong, thunderous word of revelation. I waited to hear an answer to the many questions I had at the time. I expected maybe to see a vision or hear a small sentence by which I could live my life everyday. Instead, Reader, I heard Him in a very gentle, inaudible whisper say, I love you.
I love you.
With my eyes closed, I could not stop the smile from crawling across my face! Inexpressible joy came over me like bath water. The whisper was spoken with such empathetic tenderness. It came from the same context as a father who holds his crying baby: He hushes and bounces his child as if to say, I am here… you will be fine. I love you… I'll take care of you… you don't need to cry.
You see, Dear Reader, God chose not to speak to me in anger or frustration despite my perpetual proclivity to sin and my furiously impatient questioning. He didn't choose to speak with big words or in a prophetic shout. I was searching for answers… He did not provide them. I was waiting to hear words of wisdom… He did not provide them. I wanted just a glimpse of my future or a tangible reference piece… He did not provide that either. Instead, in my quietest moment, God chose to remind me that He loves me. That was all I needed. He filled me with inexplicable love. See, that's the kind of God we serve. That is the essence of His greatness… In His love, we receive the answer to all of our questions. In a strange sort of way, I got what I was looking for. His boundless love holds all truth, assuredness, grace, and prophecy. Our lives begin and end with His love.
I challenge you, Reader, to have a ears to hear God's love all around you. Listen for the kinds of words He uses. Watch for the kind of scenarios He dresses them with. Be attentive to the instruments he uses and the gloves He wears. I promise, when you choose to open yourself up to Him, He will undoubtedly be revealed. But be prepared… it might not sound like the words you want to hear; it might not look like the picture you wanted Him to paint. No matter, though… He knows best. Receive His body. Receive His love.
