Life is Simple, Part II: Do Not Fear

To be completely honest and transparent with you, Reader, I've been a very fearful person for as long as I can remember. It has only been within the last year or so that I've defeated my fears and placed my trust in the Lord. Let me tell you, it has been the most liberating year of my life! Over the years of wrestling with anxiety I have come to realize some key elements. The conclusion I've come to is, as the name of this post suggests, very simple: Fear is the result of pride. Pride will always lead to fear and vise versa.

To fully understand fear, we must first ask where it comes from. Why do we fear? Fear comes from within ourselves. What do we fear? Well, this can be answered in millions of different ways as it depends on each person. As for me, I fear the future, I fear past mistakes, I fear that I won't live up to a certain standard, I fear my weakness, I fear my musical ability. I fear that I am incompetent. I'm afraid when I'm not comfortable. I fear I'll be exposed for who I am. I'm afraid to fail because it'll make me look weak… my list of fears could go on for a very long time. I'm sure you have a list of fears yourself that look similar to mine. This is important… follow me on this… The reason we fear is because we place the burden back on ourselves. We take on our issues. No matter what your fears are, I guarantee they scare you because they begin and end with your self. Yet again, pride gets in the way of you and God. Think about it, of course you'd be afraid of those things that you think you're in control of! We are human. We aren't inherently capable of anything. You aren't intended to carry those burdens. Remember… it's not about you. I have to constantly remind myself of that. Every time I feel anxious I have to stand up and tell myself, Kyle, it's not about you… God does not exist for my comfort. Only then can I finally shut out the Devil's voice.

Fear is not only a side affect of pride, but it is also a sin in and of itself. I would define fear as the outright, deliberate denial of God. When we are afraid, it's because we deny God's power. And, as I said, of course we should be afraid when we count God out of the equation! Do not allow your flesh to creep in through your fears. Nothing is impossible for our God. He is in control of all things.

Pride through anxiety has devastating effects. Sometimes, the way it hurts those of us in the Church (ministers included) is when we are trying to preach the gospel. I am inextricably saddened when I see or hear of fellow Christians forcefully and angrily "preaching the gospel." You may have seen these people around. They're commonly referred to as "bible thumpers." This is tragic. These people, from what I can gather, have not surrendered to God, but they've surrendered to themselves. They fear they can't reach enough people or quickly enough. This fear comes out in anger and bigotry. Their hateful tactics are a direct result of their fear. I hope, by now, you see the reason they are afraid is because they are putting the pressure of the gospel on themselves. When we do that, we dismiss the mighty power of the Spirit of God. And again, our flesh gets in the way of us and God. It is completely contradictory to what they are trying to get across to unbelievers! They might scream at the top of their lungs, Trust in the Lord! Repent! Lean on Him! Ironically, they lack the faith to do such themselves. Terrible.

So, how do we defeat the sin of fear? I believe there are many ways, but there are two that come to my mind right now. For one, we must take the focus off of ourselves and give your cares to Him (1 Peter 5:7). Scripture reminds us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take" (Prov. 3:5). He died to take care of you. He longs to hear you surrender your fears to Him. In His endless love, He will offer you peace and walk with you. "Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matt. 7:7-8). Everyone!

The second way to defeat fear is to use it to your advantage. I believe many of us, especially those of us who grew up in the Church, run from our fears and rarely do we face them head on with confidence. Risk becomes anticipated failure rather than an opportunity. It is as if we hold on too dearly to our lives and too loosely on God's power. How much more could we accomplish if we would live in a constant state of risk? After all, didn't Jesus Christ risk all He had for us? When I see the possibility of defeat, I now want to run into it… I want to take God by the hand and boldly, wisely seize the opportunity. I recently heard a beautiful song by Sara Groves called The Long Defeat in which she poetically articulates this idea:

"I can't just fight when I think I'll win

That's the end of all belief

And nothing has provoked it more

Than a possible defeat"

See, Dear Reader, without the possibility of defeat, without the risk, there is no reason for belief. There is no reason for faith. If we were certain about every scenario in our lives, why should we believe in a God at all? Why we put our trust in a god? I urge you, Reader, to use your fears as Sara Groves prompts us, to provoke belief. Let it inspire you to rise to the challenge. When we know that God posses our situation, we can walk with certainty that He will be at the end of it. He is the beginning and the end. Let Him be the beginning and the end of all your fears, too.

So, fear not, Reader. God is capable. He is the Lord of all. Place your trust in Him and walk in His authority. Do not be afraid. "So You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children" (Rom. 8:15). Read that verse again. Feel the freedom in that? He didn't give you a spirit of fear. That means we no longer have to abide by the law of the flesh! Walk on under His might and with His Spirit because, when all is said and done, it is not about you. It is not about me. Life is about what God has done and what He is continuing to do in and through us, His servants. In that, there is no fear whatsoever.

Life is Simple, Part I: Not You!

Last April I moved to Portland, Oregon from my home in Colorado Springs, Colorado to play drums for a band called Above the Golden State. Never before have I been stripped of so much in my entire life. A dear friend of mine and I drove roughly eighteen hours to reach my new home. The first couple weeks were fun. It was finally a new city for me. After a couple of weeks passed I started to break down. For me, Reader, comfort is a vice and Portland was anything but comfortable. I remember becoming overwhelmed with discomfort and the pain of missing the very things I intentionally left only weeks prior. It was then that I realized what God was doing. He was breaking me. I was completely exposed before Him. It was just me and God. The first month into my move was slow for the band and was more or less set aside for me to get settled in. It was a month (or more) of solitude… bold, sharp and painful solitude. I had time to myself, time to think. Now that I had time and space to look inward, God began to reveal those areas of flesh that were eating away at my relationship with Him. He showed me every struggle that I was pushing under the rug back home because I was busy, and frankly, it was easy. He would find a spot that hurt, push into it until the pain was so unbearable that I had to die. See, Dear Reader, that was His intention all along. He longed for my defeat! He wanted me to die to my self and live in Him. Had I not moved, He knew that it would be much harder for me to understand.

Pride is the root of all sin. No matter how we look at it, every sin when it's broken down to its smallest form is pride. I can't tell you how much this has simplified my life lately, Dear Reader. Look at this way, if we know the root of all sin and death, then we can know the opposite… the root of all praise to God, the root of true life: self-denial. When we die to our selves and allow Christ to be resurrected in us, we defy the Flesh, the World, and Satan. There is no match. Our war has been won. As I said, this concept has changed the way I live. Last Spring I read A.W. Tozer's God's Pursuit of Man. Tozer embellished on this idea much better than I ever could and it changed my world. He says, "The degree of blessing enjoyed by any man, will correspond exactly with the completeness of God's victory over him." He goes on to explain the story of Jacob, the guy who wrestled with the mysterious God-man (Gen. 32:22-29). If you haven't read that passage, you should, because it's remarkable! Tozer said, "It was only after going down to humiliating defeat that [Jacob] began to feel the joy of release from his own evil strength, the delight of God's conquest over him." I want to experience God's full blessing. I think we all do. First, we must allow God to be victorious over us.

See, when I realized the fact that God, in a very loving way, wants to defeat us, I finally understood the idea of redemption. In a weird, sort of backwards way, He wants us to be crucified. We must wrestle with Him (Gen. 32:22-29). We must pass through His fire (Isa. 30:27, Duet. 4:24). We must spend three days in the belly of a fish (Jonah 1:17). We must endure His judgment, His discipline (Heb. 12:11). We must be led into the desert by the Holy Spirit (Matt. 4:1, Luke 4:1-2). Only then will we catch a glimpse of His love for us. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERESTIMATE THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST. His love is always greater than we think. We cannot grasp His mighty love for us. There is no escape. The more we hold onto our flesh, the less we see God's love. What is that called when we hold onto our flesh? Selfishness. What's another word for selfishness? Pride. Every piece of darkness exists because of the shadow cast by our pride.

When I truly understood God's intention behind His "conquest" over me, I was able to set my self down (all the way down… to Sheol) and allow God to live in me. What else could we ask for as Christians? That's the whole point! It is not about our comfort. It is not about our success… in fact, it's not about us at all. God's story, His plotline, is about the absence of pride. It's about NOT us… the lack of human nature and the substance of God's perfect nature. So, as I was tossing this idea around in my head about a year ago, I got to the point where I said to myself, That's it? I have to simply put the concern for my wellbeing aside and love God and love others? That's it? It truly is that simple! This idea radically changed every decision I had to make. It changed the way I handle my money (or lack thereof!), it changed the way I see people, the way I handle confrontation, the way I worshiped, the way I planned for my future, the way I see my future wife, the way I view sexuality, and most importantly it changed the way I see myself. Everything changed. I realize now that I am simply a vessel for Christ. I am a glove. The thing that makes gloves work, though, is that they are empty…! I need to be empty in order to be filled. God, fill me! As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, that is our role as humans… to submit to the will of God. That should be our goal in life… that's our life's purpose. Let there be more of Him and less of me. Period.

Pride leads to all sins and one of pride's side affects is fear. I'll explain more about the problems and characteristics of fear in part two…